Ask Auntie Belle M.: Crying Girl

Shooting clay pigeons and drinking Old Crow at 140+ years, born in backwoods Buckshot County, KY, raising hell & great-grand-chilluns before we were born. With a small column in a paper in Lake Sprang, WY, she came to notoriety when her mail was sent to the White House by mistake. The administration could not answer these hapless people’s questions, so they sent them back to her. Flirty, intelligent, annoyingly candid; read her once and you won’t get her out of your mind. Here's Belle!

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Crying Girl

Dear Auntie Belle,

I cot my boyfriend masticating to miley cyrus on that recking ball. IDK wat to do butt hes mad at me now to. I really need help PLEEEEEZE bcuz i want to mary him an now he's not sure he wants to mary me.

Crying Girl

Dear Crying,

Never heard of Miley Cyrus, so I emailed my great-great-nephew Rufus for an opinion, and he wrote back: "If I cud, I'd chewed thet tew." (Whatever the hell that means.)

Auntie Belle

Feeling Slutty

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Crying Girl

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