Ask Auntie Belle M.: Pie-eyed in Pennsylvania

Shooting clay pigeons and drinking Old Crow at 140+ years, born in backwoods Buckshot County, KY, raising hell & great-grand-chilluns before we were born. With a small column in a paper in Lake Sprang, WY, she came to notoriety when her mail was sent to the White House by mistake. The administration could not answer these hapless people’s questions, so they sent them back to her. Flirty, intelligent, annoyingly candid; read her once and you won’t get her out of your mind. Here's Belle!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Pie-eyed in Pennsylvania

Dear Auntie,

The Amish girl who sells homemade pies at the bingo hall just told me she'll blow me for my smartphone.I don't have a question---I just wanted you to know I might not be able to read your column for awhile...

Signed,

Pie-eyed in Pennsylvania

Dear Pie-eyed,

That term has a different translation for the Dutch. You might want to reconsider. At any rate, do not, under any circumstances, go near the horses.

Auntie Belle

Crying Girl