Dear Auntie Belle,
I'm a famous star and as such should be above the law. Last time I was arrested, I had to poop in front of a hooker and two female cops. Why am I being prosecuted for just trying to have fun?
Dear Lindsay,
It's terrible you have had to suffer such humiliation. I consulted with my Skank-assed lawyer team, and I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. It seems only a handful of upper-echelon politicians are above the law; stars and celebrities have to follow the rules just like the homeless, hookers, murderers & addicts. You should have learned that from OJ what's his name. My only advice, therefore, is to try to hold it in until you have some privacy next time. It really is possible; some guy held it for 45 days; he would have made it into the Guinness Book of World Records, but he exploded within hours of making it. Oh! And may I have your autograph? It will be worth more when you di…when you make a movie even I would actually watch. (Oh, like that's gonna happen! lol)
I'm a famous star and as such should be above the law. Last time I was arrested, I had to poop in front of a hooker and two female cops. Why am I being prosecuted for just trying to have fun?
Lindsay Lohen
Dear Lindsay,
It's terrible you have had to suffer such humiliation. I consulted with my Skank-assed lawyer team, and I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. It seems only a handful of upper-echelon politicians are above the law; stars and celebrities have to follow the rules just like the homeless, hookers, murderers & addicts. You should have learned that from OJ what's his name. My only advice, therefore, is to try to hold it in until you have some privacy next time. It really is possible; some guy held it for 45 days; he would have made it into the Guinness Book of World Records, but he exploded within hours of making it. Oh! And may I have your autograph? It will be worth more when you di…when you make a movie even I would actually watch. (Oh, like that's gonna happen! lol)
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