Dear Auntie Belle,
I was thinking of linking your blog to my Facebook page because I think my friends on FB could really benefit from your great advice. Most of them are insane and go out into public without pants on so maybe you could take it easy on them when they ask things like "If I dipped my wiener in red ink, could I use it for a Bingo dobber?" or "I just watched 27 episodes of Saved By The Bell while naked and now my dirty parts are throbbing. Could I be pregnant?"
I know your unmitigated thirst for knowledge and overall compassion for the human race will guide you when giving them the advice they so desperately need.
I was thinking of linking your blog to my Facebook page because I think my friends on FB could really benefit from your great advice. Most of them are insane and go out into public without pants on so maybe you could take it easy on them when they ask things like "If I dipped my wiener in red ink, could I use it for a Bingo dobber?" or "I just watched 27 episodes of Saved By The Bell while naked and now my dirty parts are throbbing. Could I be pregnant?"
I know your unmitigated thirst for knowledge and overall compassion for the human race will guide you when giving them the advice they so desperately need.
Pantsless in Barrow, Alaska
Dear Pantsless,
By all means you may post my blog on your Facebook; it sounds as though some of your friends could benefit from my advice. Please also inform them I would be happy to speak to their group, so I wouldn't have to imagine my audience was naked. My fee includes a per diem and the best suite in the best hotel and more than the usual amenities. Thank you for your interest.
Auntie really enjoys her Naked Lunches!
ReplyDeleteI am allowed to get my thrills where I can. (I love it that you're a sound sleeper…)
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