Ask Auntie Belle M.: I Swear

Shooting clay pigeons and drinking Old Crow at 140+ years, born in backwoods Buckshot County, KY, raising hell & great-grand-chilluns before we were born. With a small column in a paper in Lake Sprang, WY, she came to notoriety when her mail was sent to the White House by mistake. The administration could not answer these hapless people’s questions, so they sent them back to her. Flirty, intelligent, annoyingly candid; read her once and you won’t get her out of your mind. Here's Belle!

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

I Swear

Dear Auntie F****** Bell,

This new phone I got has a f****** talk to text feature but sometimes it doesn't a****** work correctly I'm the kind of guy who swears a lot says 30 cus words f****** s*** so but this f***** is really an a****** wiper because it sometimes f****** s*** sup words that I don't even f****** say you have any f****** advice s*** crap to f*** this thing up?

signed,

I Swear

Dear I Swear,

How the f*** should I know, but does Mother f****** Superior know you have that f****** phone?

Auntie Belle

Two Hours Sober