Quips from Fans 2

Dear Auntie Belle,
No, no, no you idiots! I said TWO legs! Well, just shorten the middle one, and on the women, put a hole there.

Signed GOD

Dear God,
Thanks from all humanity.

Auntie Belle

Dear Auntie Belle,

Is that your hair or are you upstaging one of the moons of Jupiter?

Signed,

Neil de Grasse Tyson

Dear Neil,

Why do gay guys always criticize my 'Do'? 

Auntie Belle 

Dear Auntie Belle,

Have you ever had your foot crushed by a man wearing tin boots? If you look carefully you can see me limping in almost every scene! Oh, btw, Munchkins have bad breath!

Signed,

Toto

Dear Toto,

No, never had my foot crushed by a tin man, but I have recycled a couple. And, yes, I did notice you were limp in almost every scene.  Perhaps, you should cast someone other than your mother to play the Dorothy role. And I know Munchkins have bad breath; spike the water fountain with mint julep.  It won't help their breath, but Munchkins are hysterical when they're drunk.  

Auntie Belle

Belle would like the readers to send in more letters, particularly short ones for her weekly "Quips from Fans" section. Please send all letters longer or short to: askauntiebelle@ gmail.com . Thank you for reading.

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Quips from Fans 1