Quips from Fans

Dear Auntie Belle:

I was trying to come up with a name for my new dog, and I would have liked to call him Rover but that's my husband's name. Do you have any suggestions?

Bingo, the bitch from Bimini

Dear bitch,
If Rover fetches and comes when you call him, you don't need a dog. 

Auntie Belle

Dear Auntie Belle,

Please don't tell anyone about our affair or it will mess up my run for president next year.
Your pal,

Joe Biden

Dear Joe,
It wasn't an affair; Hillary was with us; when she patted your thigh, you questioned your sexuality and started crying.

Auntie Belle

PS. Joe, could you please return my garter belt and fish nets - but if your huge thighs have stretched them out, you owe me new ones. 

Dear Auntie Belle,

You too can earn huge amounts of money from the privacy of your own home. Would you like to know more?

Email: Scams-R-Us

Dear Scams-R-U,
Your clients and those who write to me are usually the same people. When you're finished with them, they'll want me to solve their problems. Knuckle bump.

Auntie Belle

Belle would like the readers to send in more letters, particularly short ones for her weekly "Quips from Fans" section. Please send all letters longer or short to: askauntiebelle@ gmail.com . Thank you for reading.

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