Saturday, March 8, 2014

Your Heartbroken Lover

My dear Isabel Anastasia Carmen Beulah Beauregard Manning Craven Ngaro Wallace Harriman Slaughterhouse, aka Belle,

How can you not return my calls? I am dying for your touch. I have never felt like this about any woman in my life. I am aflame with desire for you. I will even pay for that last massage. I offer you the moon, and even cab fare home afterwards.

Won't you be my darling bellissima?

Your Heartbroken Lover

Dear Heartbroken,
You've never felt like this about another woman because you're a tootie-fruity, a limp-wristed girly boy, a back-door man, a homosexual! You're GAY. You really don't want me to send Bruno over, do you?   


Auntie Belle


Next:
Soiled in Schenectady

No comments:

Post a Comment