Dear Auntie Belle,
I have noticed the generally underdeveloped emotionality of your letter submitters. Some are trying to adolescently provoke the readers and some engage in infantile teasing. Even your Mensan writer sounded like an uneducated bus driver (no offense meant to the general run of bus drivers who are warm, friendly and skilled at their profession.) Your Mensa writer sounds like what Mensans call a Densan.
We of the Emotional Intelligence society hate to squabble. We do not ask that you improve on the badly retread Sophie Tucker/vaudeville patter that you call your responses. We do not assume that your audience will magically become adults. We do not expect your letter writers to start having normal lives. We are just here to remind you that we are better than you.
We, of controlled emotions, and rational decision-making ability would laugh at your pitiful blog if it were not endemic of the decay of society in general. We, the emotionally intelligent are a bulwark against the degeneration of social evolution. Those few who read these pages and realize they are above them, should contact us, the Emensans, The Society for The Emotionally Intelligent.
Dear Heartfelt,
I dated many Emensan members and can testify that only in some areas are you ever 'immense'; you have fat heads, fat bellies, enormous thighs and morbidly obese egos. It's why it's become necessary for you to sit to pee. It's also why there are so few of you, and why you are a dying breed; so busy are your minds you have lost the ability to procreate and the genitalia necessary to accomplish that. Eventually, those who write to me will wipe the dribble from your chin as you decay in some old folks home. It won't even make headlines when the last one of you dies. You may discuss that at your next meeting, but it's far too late to do anything about it.
Next:
Minnesota Mensa Member
I have noticed the generally underdeveloped emotionality of your letter submitters. Some are trying to adolescently provoke the readers and some engage in infantile teasing. Even your Mensan writer sounded like an uneducated bus driver (no offense meant to the general run of bus drivers who are warm, friendly and skilled at their profession.) Your Mensa writer sounds like what Mensans call a Densan.
We of the Emotional Intelligence society hate to squabble. We do not ask that you improve on the badly retread Sophie Tucker/vaudeville patter that you call your responses. We do not assume that your audience will magically become adults. We do not expect your letter writers to start having normal lives. We are just here to remind you that we are better than you.
We, of controlled emotions, and rational decision-making ability would laugh at your pitiful blog if it were not endemic of the decay of society in general. We, the emotionally intelligent are a bulwark against the degeneration of social evolution. Those few who read these pages and realize they are above them, should contact us, the Emensans, The Society for The Emotionally Intelligent.
Heartfelt Chairman, Emensans*
*Yes, we are usually immense too!
Dear Heartfelt,
I dated many Emensan members and can testify that only in some areas are you ever 'immense'; you have fat heads, fat bellies, enormous thighs and morbidly obese egos. It's why it's become necessary for you to sit to pee. It's also why there are so few of you, and why you are a dying breed; so busy are your minds you have lost the ability to procreate and the genitalia necessary to accomplish that. Eventually, those who write to me will wipe the dribble from your chin as you decay in some old folks home. It won't even make headlines when the last one of you dies. You may discuss that at your next meeting, but it's far too late to do anything about it.
Auntie Belle
Next:
Minnesota Mensa Member
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