Dear Auntie Belle,
l hope I haven’t disturbed your siesta My sister says she doesn’t want to be my wife anymore, but what about the children? What if they realize every stranger in town is their father, and not their dear Uncle Francisco.
How am I going to pay the rent if my sister leaves me?
Loco in Acapulco
Dear Loco,
your letter has revealed a septic tank of immoralities, abnormalities and sexual deviations, the like of which I have not seen for at least a fortnight. I have a solution for you though: You never have to pay rent again, meals and medical aid will be provided free of charge. Your only requirement will be permitting onlookers to study you. A few may harbor ideas of finding a cure for...your type, but most will just delight in pointing and laughing. You will also be required to engage in inventive and raw incest (we have some who love that sort of thing). Although you will have no privacy any longer you will soon find yourself a veritable porn star. (Is your mother still alive, by the way? We could work her into the act, as well!) Keep me updated. Your new abode will be ready soon.
Auntie Belle
Loco replies:
I forgot to mention, my mother IS my sister. She says no dice. But my grandmother (I mean Aunt Francesca) is available.
[Neighbors point out Francesca is just Francisco in a dress.]